Father's Day

Well good...almost afternoon :)

Today is Father's Day here in The States. It used to be a day that held a lot of different feelings for me.

For a while, I didn't have the best relationship with my father, to the point that I told him in no uncertain terms NOT to come to my high school graduation. (Of course, being one half of the stubborn I received, he came anyway.) We didn't get along for a lot of reasons. I had a lot of anger and pain that I needed to deal with and forgive him for. I needed to just realize that he was my dad, and I needed to just love him for who he was, not who I wanted him to be.

During the time that I didn't get along with my dad, I still had Pop. My mom's father. He was and still is one of the most influential men in my life. I always knew he loved me. Hugs and kisses, sitting with me until I finished dinner (I used to eat VERY slowly, he'd grab his cross word and sit with me until I finished). Today is hard thinking of Pop though. For two reasons really. Pop is in LA, we live in Fresno. He also is in the first phases of Alzheimer's. Sometimes I know he remembers who I am. Sometimes...I know he doesn't. When he was holding Little G, I kept praying that he would remember it, even just a little bit. The smart, dry wit is still there, but rarely. He's still Pop, he's just...different. And that's hard for me to deal with. I put the family home videos in and watch them when we're visiting, because that is my Pop. The man that would always walk us out to the car, and stand on the curb waving until we couldn't see him anymore.

And now, I get to see my amazing husband celebrate his first Father's Day. :) It's amazing, really, how much more I find myself in love with this man. Currently he's cuddling during Little G's morning nap. He changes diapers, helps little man fall asleep, changes him into his clothes for the day, helps during bathtime and gives so many kisses and hugs...he's an amazing Father.

Today I think of all the blessings in my life given to me by my Heavenly Father. From the relationship I now have with Dad to the love that I was given by my Grandfather and Uncle. It's so important for kids to have guys in their lives. Both girls and boys. Both need their daddy.

Thank you Father, for the amazing men in my life. You have blessed me and care for me in ways that I know I don't deserve. Your faithful and unfailing love shows in all the relationships in my life and I could not thank you enough.

Happy Father's Day!