When You're Stumbling into the New Year Empty and Drained - Alicia Bruxvoort

"Three days later, they all went to celebrate a wedding feast in Cana of Galilee … While they were celebrating, the wine ran out … [And Jesus said] ‘Fill each water pot with water until it’s ready to spill over the top.’" John 2:1a, 3a, 7b

Every person I've ever met has had the feelings that Alicia writes about in her devotion for us today. She was at the end of a year, looking at a new one and her hope was replaced by emptyness. She wanted to look forward and rattle off the goals she had...but she just simply couldn't.

She was empty. 

But, the scripture above reminds us that Jesus LOVES to fill us. Not just a little, not jut halfway, but usually right to brim. Many times we over flow with him. He loves our broken and empty places, because he can come in and fill up all the gaps and really truly give us what we need. When we feel the lowest, when we're hearing those lies being whispered in our ears, stopping to turn and ask to be filled with nothing but that sweet, never ending, never giving up love of Jesus makes all the difference.

Jen Hatmaker posted earlier today about responding to people asking for your time. It's a fun post, you should go read it, she makes a very good point, however about how we tend to feel guilty and that's why we say yes. We end up filling up our lives and days with SO much that we can't possibly hear that small voice, or have time to fill ourselves up. And we need to.

So, here's one of the promises I'm making to myself. More time to stop and ask, "I need you, I can't do this all on my own." Just like I told my 5th and 6th graders to do yesterday. :)

What are you doing this year to make a difference in your life?
M :)

Lord, I Need A Miracle - Leah Depascal

"I give thanks to you, because you have answered me. You are my savior." Psalm 118:21

The Daily Dose today centers around a miracle in this writer's family, healing and recovery that were unexpected and faster than the doctors could have dreamed.

While I love these kinds of stories, I love when people are healed, I can't help but also thanking God when things don't go the way we think they should.

I give thanks to God, because he answered me. His answers are not always what I want. Earlier this year my faith family lost a bright and shining light. She was an amazing woman with faith through to the end. Her husband is our worship pastor and returned to leading main service worship for our 3 gatherings just weeks after losing his high school sweetheart. God answered us. He gave her ultimate healing and did his will.

Sometimes, as Christians we have a habit of focusing on only the good that comes from our prayers. Almost implying to the non-believer that God is a magical genie that grants wishes to those that are worthy, instead of answering in His will all prayers we send to him.

Yesterday, I took prayer requests from our 5th and 6th grade classes. Many kids asking for healing from cancer for their grandparents, prayer over many different family members having surgery soon...a reoccurring prayer that an uncle would quit smoking. I want more than anything for these kids to understand that our prayers aren't orders for God. We pray when we have worries or issues too big for us, not because every prayer is going to get what we want. I want these kids to know that even if their grandpa doesn't recover from cancer here, that ultimate healing is what comes, and that while we're sad to lose them it's the answer our prayers received.

It's so hard to explain to people the trust I have in God's will. No matter what I know that His will is better than mine. I know that putting all of my will aside will ultimately bring so much more into my life.

So, I give thanks because God has answered me, Jesus is my savior...and His will is perfect. Even if I don't receive the same kinds of miracles others do.

Here are a couple other verses for you today:

Psalm 9:1b, "I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds." (NIV)

1 Chronicles 16:34, "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." (NIV)

Praying for you all and hoping that your November is filled with thanks and peace. :)

M

Daily Dose - What We Miss When We Rush - Lysa Terkeurst

"Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours." 1 Chronicles 29:11a (NIV)

This one made me tear up. As I find myself telling my little boy to give me just a second more before I pick him up and trying to get everything done, I'm found guilty of rushing.

To what end I'm not quite sure. My home looks as clean as it did before, my dishes are as done as they were before, my laundry is as used as it was before. My point is that this devotion hit a chord for me.

I have to slow down, and sometimes I'm really good at recognizing that. Sometimes I have blinders on and press through no matter what. There are things that need my attention more than the things on my list. (Yes, I still have lists, it's how I function people. Though I don't have nearly as many)

I keep myself to this weird standard that nobody else expects of me. The power, glory, majesty, and splendor is God's, not mine. So why do I feel I need to measure up? Everything is His, sure, I'm given stewardship over some of it, but it's still not mine.

When did we become more about what people think and glory from others over what we're doing for God and what He thinks? I'd rather have a ,"well done my good and faithful servant" than a "that is so cool and you're so amazing" any day. So, why don't I always act like it?

Because I'm human and the fall caused a hole in me and sometimes I think that what will make me feel better is praise and admiration from others. So, I push...I rush...I control.

In the end, I really need that calming love. I need to stop and appreciate the majesty, the power, and the splendor. God saw that it was all good, and yes, our fall has put a little fog on the window, but it's still good and you can find God in so many places if you just stop and look.

I need to remember that my life isn't just about me, it's not about what people think of me, it's about what people will think of my Father through my actions. If they're not full of love and care, then what are people going to think of the one that I say I follow?

Here's my challenge for you: take a moment to think about all the daily things you take for granted (I'm not feeling well, so I have to do this a little more today.) Now, go appreciate these things. Take a moment out of your schedule and go really appreciate them. Even if it's the breath that you woke up with this morning. Sit and breathe. :)

In all His love,
M :)

Daily Dose - The "Perfect" Cup of Coffee - Kathi Lipp

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (NIV)

 This particular devotion hits me right between the eyes. You all know I'm a recovering Control Addict. Yes, I'm still working on it. More times than I'd like to admit, I find myself pushing forward, past all the things that matter, to "get it all done".

B likes to joke that, "we must not deviate from the plan" and he's right. I make plans and many times there isn't anything fluid to them. I'm aware of it though and have tried to make an effort to just go with the flow. Sometimes, ok many times, I fail.

Kathi gives us 3 ideas to help us through the need for perfection, and they're awesome. I'm all about being a rebel. :)

However, I feel like this problem is even deeper. How often do we find ourselves, our churches, running toward what perfection looks like to us than running toward what perfection looks like to Jesus. Do you know how much of the Bible is about how much God loves us and how he likes the way he made us? How our neighbors are to be loved for themselves, not judged for what they don't do the way we would.

How do we pull ourselves out of the superficial and back to incarnational living? I think Kathi's last idea is going to be key.

Rebel. It won't be easy, but as the key verse today notes, we WILL have trouble. God knew it, the moment humanity had to be kicked out of the garden, we sealed that door. We aren't guaranteed ease, we're guaranteed new and everlasting life. A wonderful, love filled life by way of Christ's blood. Let an f-bomb slip? Covered. Told that little white lie? Covered. See, Jesus didn't just die for our sins before we met him, he died for our humanity in life with him.

So, let's rebel against what we're told is the right way. Let's start diving into the word of God so deeply that we can't help but find his truths. Let's open our hearts so fully to the Holy Spirit leading us, that we can't help but reach out and affect others. Let's show our lives openly, so that others can truly know they're not alone. There's a broken and bleeding world waiting for the hope that we keep tucked tightly into our hands when we start focusing more on what the world wants as perfection.

Here are some other encouraging verses for you to meditate on (don't forget to read the verses above and below):

Colossians 3:15, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." (NIV)

Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!" (NLT)

Let's be rebels together shall we? :) Let me know what you're doing to rebel and I'll let you know what I'm doing. 

 Let God's light shine!
M :)

Daily Dose - God Will Give You Everything You Need - Holley Gerth

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul." Psalm 23:1-3a (NIV)

I think sometimes we forget that God is actually there to give use rest, to bring us into his perfect rest. Our world tells us that being busier is better and that is what gives you worth. It also gets in the way of ministering to those that need us to. It's interesting that this would come today, after that amazing discussion at one of my women's groups last night. :)

In this devotion, Holley talks about how everyone, when asked, responds that they're tired and that we often get tired by following the wrong person. We're sheep following each other instead of following our Shepherd. For me, it's not just about following my Master where he goes, but following the mission he left for me. Am I too caught up in the world and what other people expect of me to be the blessing I'm supposed to be? Am I forgetting the people in the activities I do?

The next time you say you're too busy to do anything missional, think back to all the missed opportunities because you were to blinded by YOUR purpose to see the purpose GOD had in putting you in your busy situation. Who are you interacting with? Who are you looking past to get your purpose fulfilled.

Sure it'll make your errands last a little longer if you stop to acknowledge the people around you. Yes, you may have to talk to that loud soccer dad at your child's game. Being busy or having things in your life to do, doesn't remove you from the mission Jesus left for us. More people expect a 'trained' pastor to do all the work, when it's all about us doing the work. We're not a primer for someone that's trained, we're the workers.

Find your rest in Jesus when you're tired, ask for his peace and calm when you're feeling overwhelmed, but don't ever give up on the mission you have in your life. Every moment you give counts to someone.

Abba, Help me to remember that though I am just one person, that you set me in my daily life to shine YOUR light and be a blessing to others.

Daily Dose - The Place Where Disappointment Grows - Lysa TerKeurst

Paalm 23:1 - The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

But, I do.

Right now I have a couple wants that are neatly organized in my head in a list.

Lysa talks about the difference between our expectations and wgat our reality are. I have to admit, maybe more tgan once I've been caught expecting something more from my husband, or a friend or myself...and the waves of disappointment bring stinging words from my mouth and cold vast silence to my actions. The worst part? Usually it's over nothing.

You see, not only is the Lord my shepherd, but he is also my provider. Every thing I have is his to give and to take away. I usually don't have a long list of wants, I've never been one to drrol over the newest clothes or phone...but I still feel as though I am in need when in reality, I'm one of the very blessed to live in the top 2 percent of the world (not the country, please, I wouldn't know what to do with that much money). I'm blessed beyond measure to have a roof over my head, food in my table and clothes in good repair. Our heater works, we have blankets and warm socks. So, why do I forget these things when my desires aren't met? Because, gentle reader, I'm human, and prone to it.

But God.  My God. He loves me, guides me as the good shepherd. I keep trying to remind myself that I need to have enough room in my world for the size of blessing God is waiting to give me, maybe if I get rid of so,e of the want and bitterness that comws wuth it, I'll start experiencing those blessings, what do yiu think? :) 

Daily Dose - Unwrapping His Christmas Presence - Renee Swope

Isaiah 7:14b

This particular issue has been on my mind a lot lately. During this time of year many people spend to excess and put emphasis on how the tree looks (when did the color of lights become such a big deal?), but they forget about what Christmas truly was.

So, if you know your Bible a bit, in the Old Testament God tries several times to be among his people. Have you ever tried desperately to be near or close with someone after a huge falling out? God does this multiple times, but there's a problem...sin. God's plan was to be with people and to have a close relationship, what happened in the Garden messed that all up.

You see, God is so good, so pure, so holy that sin can't be around him. My head starts to hurt just thinking about the vastness of God and the depth of his understanding. So, the Garden put a big damper on the whole relationship with God thing because there was no way to be close to him with all that sin.

Back to the verse: Jesus IS God with us. Immanuel. The Holy One himself, in flesh. With hunger, pain, weakness...all that human stuff. Not only that, he was sinless. Jesus spent a lot of time praying, I think there was a deep hole from being separated that way from God,  and I have to think it hurt.

Now we have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, that intimate God With Us...but until Jesus, we couldn't have. We celebrate the birth of Christ because not only was he the Lamb of God and Savior of the world, but because in being so, he restored a relationship with God.  Mary, that evening, holding her sweet newborn son, held the link. She gave us his presence...that's what we celebrate.

So, don't feel bad about how many presents you get or give...or traveling. Don't focus on perfection or spending money. Cultivate relationship, share the best present you have...and do it for the glory of the Kingdom. Not so that people would know your name, but his: Jesus, Messiah...Immanuel, God with Us.

Daily Dose - Romans 12 & 13

Today, like most Sundays, im just reading through part of a book of the Bible. There is no email today.

I dont know why this particulqr passegw was up in the Bible app on our tablet, but when yhe book is open I tend to just read until God says stop.

This passage encourages me today. I've been up since 3:30, my munchkin and husband both went bavk to sleep around 5:15...I didn't because I was holding said munchkin and was truly uncomfortable. I was also get4ing more perturbed by the minute, going over the previous night of what I wanted and what B actually did. 

You see, I was keeping a tally. A record of all the things I did that should give me some sort of sway in getting what I want.

I know, it's super selfish.

So, at 5:30, with my bundle ofnjiy on my chest and my husband snoring...I was starting to seethe. I was tired, I was wantig more sleep, and hadn't I earned more rest?

Can I remind you that it's Sunday? And these are some of my first thoughts...ew.

The passage is an encouragement because I know that what I'm doing is for God. Every single snuggle, every omlete I make (I finally got up and made breakfast), every pot of coffee I brew...is just God's ever flowin and abundant love, not mine.

Let's be honest, that coffee would be laced with spite if it were me.

I have to erase that mental tally board. If I hold it up to God's (you know, that rugged, blood stained cross) I loose, hands down. Sure, I can brush it off as being human nature, the way God made me...but until I'm honest with myself that it is no way a reflection of my God and his deep change filled love, I can't possibly say that anything I'm doing is loving.

Do all things as to the Lord.

Yes, Jesus. Let every action not be tallied to show how much I deserve, but reflect that action that you took, that time where you followed and reflected our heavenly Father amd his love perfectly by laying yourself aside.

Happy Sunday :)

Daily Dose: A Different Kind of School Year - Lysa TerKeurst

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

As I read through this devotion, I kept thinking, "Manda, bite your tongue." And then I'd think of a time when I didn't. Boo. 

You see, I keep having this issue. And I know God keeps putting things in my path to help me work on it. I keep snapping at Brian, when I should be speaking kind and encouraging words. (After all, he's my husband and the provider and protector of our family.) I can think of a time this very day. Ugh, how crazy am I? I was upset about something from yesterday morning...so what did I do? 

Well, nothing that I wish to share, because I really didn't react the way I should have. Instead I was snarky to him. A bit sarcastic (apparently it's my first language, not my second, ahem.) He's so relaxed and takes most of it in stride and we're both able to laugh it off. Should he have to though? Won't that get a little old? 

Then I read farther. Telling the world to wait and remembering that I am managing blessings are now two things on my list of ways to deal with my icky feelings. 

Seriously, the world. Um...why do I care so much? I should be looking up for my guidance, not out. Out is for something totally different. 

And then the pang of guilt remembering how extremely blessed I am. My husband is a wonderful man. My son? Healthy, happy and growing. How many mother's would give their own lives to have that from their child just once more. How many women would trade every bit of their life with mine? I think this is really the one that gets me. I get a lump in my throat. 

What this really looks like to me? Not getting upset about the little stuff...and it's all little stuff. Really...life, limb or eyesight. (When we were in ministry with the youth, that was our rule. If it doesn't cost your life, a limb or your eyesight...we're good to go. We included, if you can explain it in a court of law. But that's a different post all together.) 

Do I need to stress about the things I am stressing about? Nope. Why? Because the unchangeable I AM has my back. The one that created everything with a word...has everything under control, even if I don't understand or like it very much at the time. 

My child may not be in school, I may not be in school...but I think this is a good time to set a new precedent. Don't you?

Abba, Thank you for keeping me in check. I know I stomp my feet sometimes and get out of sorts. Help me to change little by little, day by day to become that new self you've made me to be.

Daily Dose: Where Your Tears Go - Tracie Miles

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

This is a great reminder, especially when going through rough times. God is always with you, holding your hand and catching your tears. Even when it seems like there is no way for that to be true.

God spends His time listening and loving us...in all our messy humanness. I can't always wrap my head around that. :)

Daily Dose: Messy Marriage - Lysa TerKeurst

"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God." Jeremiah 17:7 (MSG)

I will admit...I've read this and avoided writing about it. I hemmed and hawed with the screen open as I went about going to a doctor appointment I couldn't actually be seen at, through feeding my little guy and putting him down for a nap...yeah...I thought about it. I didn't write about it.

The reason? I am a dirty orange juice slinger. Well, it hasn't been orange juice. Usually a towel, or my phone. (Good thing there's a case on it!)

Oh I get so mad sometimes and let me tell you, I have a TEMPER. Sure, I'm sunshiney most days, however, when the mood arrives, you better believe there are storm clouds and a torrent of thunder comes out of my mouth toward my husband before I can even bat an eye. And then I  try to suck it all in and make it like it didn't happen. I know that I don't need to talk like that to him just because he's said something hurtful to me. And I don't say hurtful things to people I love...I'm just...a little too blunt. Feel my wrath!

Ew.

Then God kind of taps me on the shoulder with His Holy finger and gives a look that can only be, "really? YOUR wrath? Hmm...that's funny, I thought the whole wrath thing was on me." But He doesn't have to say a word.

I have a prayer journal. One of my on going prayers, that I try to pray every day (ok, a couple times a day) is that God would give me the knowledge of when to speak and when to shut up and pray. (Yes, I use the words shut up when I'm talking to God...we're close like that)

My husband is better at grace than I am. I'm dead serious. Though he gets his dander up, he's usually the one to wrap his arms around me first (especially when I've got my tail tucked between my legs and am averting my words and eyes at all expense because I KNOW I've not asked God what to do).

So. Maybe I don't soak my kitchen in OJ, but maybe I do soak it in words that aren't necessary.

I think, maybe, I should stick to things that are easy to clean up...or you know, nothing at all. ;)

Daily Dose: Running on Empty - Glynis Whitwer

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Oh man....Miss Glynis, you are not saying anything my heart hasn't heard. You are seriously speaking to the tough outter shell that keeps me sane.

In the past few weeks...man, I feel like I'm the batter and the pitcher knows every pitch that will bring me to my knees. But...that's where I'm supposed to be.

I keep hearing the words to a song, "You're my revival song/You start where I belong...On my knees/On my knees." I've written about it. And I know I need to be there, because I know I don't have enough grace, mercy, peace, love or patience to deal with the day to day or other adults in my life. Seriously, it's not the kids I don't get.

(my sweet 5.5 month old baby boy, turned to me this morning and planted an unsolicited drool filled baby kiss on my cheek. I almost cried)

I know for a fact that without God, I can not show people His love on a day to day basis. I need him to fill me up. How do I know this so soundly? I go back to my high school years...I had a circle of friends that I would have done anything for, they knew my sweet heart and want to make anyone laugh. Did anyone else? Apparently not. A guy I considered a friend, not close but a friend, told me that up until about Junior year, he thought I'd probably gut him if  he crossed me the wrong way. Wow. I also remember ignoring the very existence of people that I didn't want to talk to. Ouch. Like, they would say Hi and I would act like nothing even happened. Those of you that know me...even a little bit, know that I would never do that now.

Let me share a little something with you: I grew up in the church. My parents were involved. I was a Christian. I accepted Christ at the end of my Sophmore year of high school. Do you see why Junior year might have changed? See, until I asked God to fill me, to make me whole...until I had my own relationship and stopped just having someone else's beliefs, I wasn't able to ask to be filled, because I didn't know anything was missing.

This is how I know, for a very sure fact, that I need God. Every. Single. Day. No matter what. Or I can't love, show mercy and grace, be patient...nothing. I need God to do that to the degree that other people deserve. Not just my circle...my group...but everyone.

Today, I still face the same challenge...and I have some pretty tough stuff that's happened and that is still happening...but I can always take a step back and ask for that sweet love to fill me. And it will.

Daily Dose - The Gift of Listening - Renee Swope

"I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray." Psalm 17:6

Whenever I read the devotions done by Renee, I can hear her. She does radio spots for KLove and The Promise, so I feel like I hear her words more accurately. I "know" her.

Anyway, through this whole devotion, all I could think is that I often don't "look up and hear" God. I put other things in the path of hearing Him.

Well, let's be honest, I put things in the path of hearing everyone. We all do. Except maybe my son. But he's 5 months old. The worst part is, sometimes I can even put things in the way of responding to something as little as a text or a phone call. This may sound weird to some of you because you know of my really outgoing personality.

I've really tried to make a point to not let anything keep my attention from G, especially my phone, the computer or the TV. But I have a habit of thinking to myself, "I'll just do the dishes, then I can sit down with a snack and do my devotion." Well, we see that I'm writing this at 10:50pm...so we know where that ends up most days. (p.s. A huge thank you to my sweet amazing man that is currently fighting the good fight with our tiny dictator for sleep)

See, I get so side tracked that God time sometimes takes a back seat...and then comes husband time taking a back seat, and friend time. A lot of people would read that and think it's normal when you have a small child, but...something tells me (read: previous experience) that if I put the time with God first like I should, everything else just falls into place. BUT...that's just too easy...

I guess my prayer isn't just to make time to give the gift of listening to the people in my life instead of the technology in my life...but also to the God of my life. Without Him in my life and as a start to my day, things get out of hand and my relationships seem to really suffer (read: sometimes my mouth and brain don't really talk...things go downhill quickly).

Father, thank you for giving me the gift of your ever present listening ear. Help me to put it in the right place in my day. I need the Holy Spirits gentle nudge and guidance to put down the phone or step away from the computer and make eye contact, because even though I try to do that already, I know I still fall far short of what I should be. Thank you so much for your ability to love your broken child. :)

(All these devotions are done with the daily email sent from Proverbs 31 Ministries and are done in a mirror fashion so that it is easy to read and follow. These are all my response to reading what these wonderful ladies talk about each day.)

Daily Dose - Do You Have Enough? - Karen Ehman

"Then he said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'" Luke 12:15

Stuff. You heard me. Stuff. It's what we all buy and want...but rarely need. 

This devotion really didn't make me look around and say, "hey, I have too much stuff!" because...well, 7 did. This devotion just made me remember that I'm better off without all the stuff that everyone else has. Like, it would be nice to have a car with AC, but there are plenty of people that don't have a car at all. It would be nice to have a house, but there are A LOT of people that don't even have a roof, let alone own it. 

In our financial down grade, I am going to start being very careful about setting money aside, not just for tithe, but for others. Whatever that ends up meaning. I'll set it aside and let God tell me what to do with it. 

Let's call this an experiment in the unknown. 

Since the Stuff chapter of 7 (ok it wasn't called that but I can't remember now and if I don't get this done, I might not be able to post for another 7 or so hours. My tiny dictator is napping...ish.) I haven't found myself dwelling on things I don't have. I haven't ever really been a stuff person. I have clothing that is literally almost 10 years old. What I find I dwell on more is making sure we have enough nutritious food. LOL 

That's another issue though isn't it? 

So, I'm going to leave this here...and we'll see what happens. Remind me if I don't post about it. k?

Daily Dose - Quiet My Soul - Wendy Pope

"But I have stilled and quieted my soul." Psalm 131:2a (NIV 1984)

This devotion is aboutbeing comfortable in the silence and restorat7ve peace of God.

I've fotten better at this with the 7 daiky prayers (though I've missed at least one a day)

Without anymore ado, I'm stoppin this blog entry to just sit and be quiet with God.

Join me?

Daily Dose - When My Happy Gets Bumped - Lysa TerKeurst

" Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,  against the powers of the dark world and against the soiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:11-12 (NIV)

Daily Dose - I Don't Like Her - Samantha Evilsizer

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. " Philippians 2:3 (NIV 1984)

The list of God things I'm not good at: mercy, grace, forgiveness and peace. The end.

Boo!

This devotion hits me in the eyes. Let's be honest,  anything that calls out my hard headed, controllig or out spoken nature smacks me soundly across the face. I catch myself sighing as I read and now as I write...ok, I get it! (Obviously not Manda, or you wouldn't be reading it again, and again, and again.) (Don't mind me, I'm just talking to myself)

I'm so guilty of stompig my angry little feet when God challenges me. What was that God? I need to go through this trial? I . Don't.  Think. So. It's not fair! 

Eventually I get it, I am gently placed back in my knees where I belong. Don't get me wrong, I sing and dance in praise and worship as well, but the place I need to make myself the most comfortable, is right there at the foot of that old rugged messy cross. And not just about people and relationships...everything.

Today, as I think about and write the next post, the one that wilk be my Jerry McGuire moment, I pray for a humble spirit, mercy for my fellow Christians and myself. It's a heavy one guys.

Abba, I need you to help me with humility and grace daily. Though I know your views, quite wel, I know ibstill struggle, not with ego, but with attitude.  Thank you for your patience and love while I work throug being less of me and more of you, pressed down, shaken together and overflowing.

Daily Dose: Why Bother - Glynis Whitwer

" Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.'" John 6:68-69 (NIV)

This particular devotion gets to the heart of my next post. Glynis talks about living the "what-better" faith as opposed to the "why-bother" faith. As in, what could be better in my life than knowing my redeemer, the One True God? Where as the why bother faih is centered around a list of rules, you can't do thats and guilt.

Why is the church losing people left and right? Because we're the ones deciding who gets to be in...and who is too terribble to accept. Oh sweet bride of Christ, we are turnig you into what you were never meant to be. In ways, we've made you an idle of brick and concrete.

Is thsi what people see when thy see my walk? Do they see a loved and passionate daughter? Or a woman caught in judgement of others?

I'm scared to actually  answer that truthfully...

I'm sick of feeling a piece missing because I'm not just loving. Our culture makes it all but impossible not to judge...but I'm going to state here that I. Am. Changed. The one called I Am changed me. I can not keep goig about and only shining my light where I want and when I want.

Let's show the world what authentic followers of Christ really look like...you can tell them by their love. ;)

M

P.s. originally written 8/13/13

Daily Dose: A Better Way Than My Own - Van Walton

"The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

I'm pretty sure God pours himself into my issues like I pour water into a cup...at least 8 times a day :)

This morning B and I had a conversation about a few things that will mean a lot of change in our lives. ( I know, we had a baby and NOW we're talking change?) Being a bit apprehensive about change, he's a little distracted today at work. I'm also a little distracted and could feel his mood when he left. It wasn't a happy one.

What Van Walton writes about allowing God to plan our lives and stick to it really hits home today. We can both see that God is moving and we both know that He is in control, that doesn't change the feelings we have about what's going on..but maybe it makes them easier to deal with....or put aside?

Honestly, it's not so much that we're not in control, I'm dealing with that better and better lately...it's more the feelings of confusion and disappointment that are getting to me.

This verse though, really just trips me in my ranting and reminds me that it's not about other people, what they're doing or what they want me to do...it's all on God and HIS plan. No other plan. So...now I need to be still and just listen to what He says right? :) Easier said than done.

Father, I'm human and in so many ways I find myself sick over parts of the plan for my life. I can't even think about the number of knots I've worried over. Help me to remember that your plan is the one that I'm following, that no matter what other people say, or do, yours is the plan I'm following. That you are faithful and true to those that love and follow you. Thank you for where you are taking us :)

Open her heart...and mine. - Suzie Eller

I think the past few days, God may have been speaking directly to my heart. Ok, I know he does every day...but I'll explain in a minute why I phrased this the way I did.

The scripture today from the Proverbs 31 devotional is:

"One of them was Lydia from Thyatira, a merchant of expensive purple cloth, who worshiped God. As she listened to us, the Lord opened her heart and she accepted what Paul was saying." Acts 16:14 (NLT)

I've always loved the scripture about Lydia, she always seemed like one of those women you'd see at church, older and respected but still so open to the will and heart of God, that she didn't ever feel embarrassed to be rocked by Him.

Now Suzie talks about praying for the heart if others, but also for yourself...that your heart would be changed.

She uses some amazing imagery, she talks about the soil of your heart and that of your friends. Yesterday, Pastor Dave talked about the parable of the seeds and the different soils of the heart (he also happened to reference a scripture that made quite an impact in my ladies group Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Those of you that have read all my posts probably think I'm a little bit of a hippie. You wouldn't be wrong. I live in an apartment, have a compost bin and grow my own veggies many years. I recycle as much as I can, try to live as in harmony with God's earth as I can. (I still shave though lol)

These past two days, God has put wording and reading in front of me that speaks to the planter/cultivator in me. Pastor Dave made a good point that ties so directly to this particular devotion that it makes me a little speechless (only a little). He said that when he was younger he thought the parable in Luke was talking about four different people, that you could be one or the other...but as he's studied it more and more over his years, he started to realize that this particular story could be one heart in different times. I feel like, that's part of what Suzie is saying.

We need to pray for others, intercede for them. Especially those that haven't ever known the relationship and grace of God. But we can't forget to remember to pray that our own heart REMAINS open and soft for God to use. I know that as Christians we can get a hardened heart. We already know it all. Why do we need to listen? Freedom in Christ - check! Read the entire Bible - check! Prayer time - check! (I like to call this rubbing the lamp when you have a hardened heart, you're not really talking...you're telling your genie what you want. Might make you laugh, but it totally happens) We're good Christians because we have all of that down. Now, I'm not saying that you aren't if that's your routine, I'm just saying that if we don't check our heart and pray for it to be soft soil for God, all those become just that - a routine. Going through the motions because we know that what we should do.

Tell me though, where's your love for others during all that? That's why we HAVE to not only pray for change in others, but for change in ourselves. I can't speak for you, but I know I am way too selfish and self centered to keep on loving and not judging people if I don't first pray that God would change my heart to His.

Father, thank you for speaking to my heart. For reminding me of my need to fully put my heart and will in you and what you would have for me. Thank you for placing my friends and family on my heart so that I would bring them to you, trusting them to you. Continue to change and shape my heart and keep it fertile soil for your love.

What do you think?