"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2
Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
Oh man....Miss Glynis, you are not saying anything my heart hasn't heard. You are seriously speaking to the tough outter shell that keeps me sane.
In the past few weeks...man, I feel like I'm the batter and the pitcher knows every pitch that will bring me to my knees. But...that's where I'm supposed to be.
I keep hearing the words to a song, "You're my revival song/You start where I belong...On my knees/On my knees." I've written about it. And I know I need to be there, because I know I don't have enough grace, mercy, peace, love or patience to deal with the day to day or other adults in my life. Seriously, it's not the kids I don't get.
(my sweet 5.5 month old baby boy, turned to me this morning and planted an unsolicited drool filled baby kiss on my cheek. I almost cried)
I know for a fact that without God, I can not show people His love on a day to day basis. I need him to fill me up. How do I know this so soundly? I go back to my high school years...I had a circle of friends that I would have done anything for, they knew my sweet heart and want to make anyone laugh. Did anyone else? Apparently not. A guy I considered a friend, not close but a friend, told me that up until about Junior year, he thought I'd probably gut him if he crossed me the wrong way. Wow. I also remember ignoring the very existence of people that I didn't want to talk to. Ouch. Like, they would say Hi and I would act like nothing even happened. Those of you that know me...even a little bit, know that I would never do that now.
Let me share a little something with you: I grew up in the church. My parents were involved. I was a Christian. I accepted Christ at the end of my Sophmore year of high school. Do you see why Junior year might have changed? See, until I asked God to fill me, to make me whole...until I had my own relationship and stopped just having someone else's beliefs, I wasn't able to ask to be filled, because I didn't know anything was missing.
This is how I know, for a very sure fact, that I need God. Every. Single. Day. No matter what. Or I can't love, show mercy and grace, be patient...nothing. I need God to do that to the degree that other people deserve. Not just my circle...my group...but everyone.
Today, I still face the same challenge...and I have some pretty tough stuff that's happened and that is still happening...but I can always take a step back and ask for that sweet love to fill me. And it will.
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