Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Time...

I really feel like my post this morning was SO long ago! It's was only a few hours right?


LOL! So, I have an amazing job and I am getting into it. Today was a full day from 8am to 5ish. It started out a little slow and I'm slowly getting access to things and doing more and more. Kendal is done after tomorrow. It's very...interesting.

So, I'm sitting here trying to get the energy to play a game with my husband as that was a suggestion of something to do today...but I really just...blah.

I need to work on a few things on my laptop...but I don't feel like taking out. I'm just all sorts of lame.

The update from Christmas will have to stay at the lame short one from a couple days ago.

I need to read and then to bed...hopefully in the between I can get B to make me some peppermint hot chocolate. Mmmm...

K, I'll be back soon. I promise. At least tomorrow right ;) I'll blog on the devotional from today, it'll give me one more day...until Sunday when I don't get one. Eh, I'm sure I'll figure it out ;)

Hugs!
M

Daily Dose

Good morning! Yes, it's early...B had to go to work at 4 this morning. No big!

Since I don't have my email yet from Proverbs31.org I will just write my own personal Wow God for today. In this season of celebration, B and I have had a few things happening. We're currently looking to be out on our own, with my income being an issue, we didn't see that happening. I labored with resumes and applications and saw nothing. I then was reminded that I need to be content first.

I started to go about my day seeking God first (that was what this partially was) and putting myself into the Word as much as I could (thank you Tuesday Connection group!). Being content and realizing that I just needed to learn that lesson again (and I'll probably have to learn it again and again and again)

When I rested in the Lord and looked to Him first, I began to see a change in my day to day and my attitude, and you may think I'm being silly, but I began to notice when I didn't do my reading and devotion first thing. If I didn't spend time with God one on one as the first priority to my day, I found myself stressing and doing all manner of things I just...didn't need to.

The reading has given me new depth of understanding of what the Jews went through and how much God really does love us.

The daily devotionals have convicted me more often than not about how narrow minded I can be, how disobedient and how just plain...human...but also that God loves me even in all my human errors.

B and I took a Crown Financial class through our church during the first couple months of our marriage (what am I saying, we're only coming up on 6 months now! lol) There is a whole week on being content, which then tells you that God has a lot to say about being content. It's an important practice that many people just don't get. I know it's hard to do and it's even harder to remember, but it quiets my soul and helps me remember what I'm doing here ya know?

The other benefit to being content is...you get to say that God's will is enough for you. I think we get too caught up in what we want and don't really put that thought first. When we become content, we aren't saying that we look forward to a brighter future and to the promises God has made, we are saying that whatever God has for us MUST be enough in this situation and time. That His plan and His timing truly is better than any timing we could have had. It's a very freeing and altogether scary idea though.

So, what are  you holding onto? What expectations have you been keeping and thinking are what you really need? I'll tell you what, do it for a week. Be really content and praise God for what you do have. It'll change your perspective.

God, thank you for the perspective you've given me in the past few weeks. Thank you for all the blessings I have and all the blessings you still have waiting for me. Help me to be content in you everyday. Help me to look to  you first and start my day out right. Amen.

K, so...an hour nap before getting ready for work? Oh yeah! lol

M

Monday, December 27, 2010

Made from red fruit...

Obviously this blog will be to catch up (get it, made from red fruit)

A lot happened in the past week. I have a lot to talk about...but I don't think I'll have the time to do it tonight. Just to bring you up to speed:

Went to LA for Christmas, had fun, had an interview today - it went well. Done! LOL

I'll catch up tomorrow with a couple blogs from my reading and daily devos :)

Cheers!
M

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Anger Management

My gmail skin is red right now. Kind of appropriate. Matches the mood. Though not in the angry kind of way. In the "if I could just throw up right now, maybe the world would be ok" kind of way. Though I don't want to puke the brownie I just had. But I shouldn't have had it anyway right? I didn't need it...it's not necessary. I should have said no. I should have opened my Bible instead.

I want to puke. My stomach has felt this way for a while now. I thought I was getting better. I really was trying to be a duck. I swear. Really was under the impression that I had made big permanent changes. Tonight, I learned that I obviously have not.

How can I do things when I have no choices? I really...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

That was not as cathartic as it should have been. Then again it's 11:11 and if I really did that, the way that would be cathartic, I'd wake people up and probably get in a bit of trouble for it. So, instead...I type it. Wishing that I could scream until I were hoarse and cry until my tear ducts dry out. But I can't.

I can't even express the anguish I feel right now. For many reasons...not only was I stupid, making stupid choices and doing stupid things...but I also found out some disturbing things about the way I am viewed...especially now.

God!!! Change me please? Please?!?!?! I can't do this. I just can't be like this anymore. I need to change, I want to change. I need help!

The only things I hear in my head are how horrible I really actually am. How many people probably see me and how people should not have to be exposed to me. Who hammered that last nail into my coffin? I did. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I smiled enough...I could make my demons go away.

I can't sleep, I don't want to be awake and all I can do at this point is sit here.

Daily Dose

Good almost afternoon! Two loafs of pumpkin bread, breakfast and a discussion with Dad have come and gone today.

Oh my...I need to really put this back as the very first thing I do. See, I told you that I get bad ;)

Today's devotion: Pondering and Peaceful

Scripture: Luke 2:51

This whole devo is really about Mary. We don't know much about her, she was the mother of Jesus, she was a wonderful woman and young, in our standards when she became a mother. Yet, through all this, she was God's servant. It's her first response. (as noted in the reading)

I'm convicted once again about my attitude toward my situation. I'm thankful, I just also find myself asking God why he hasn't changed it and wondering when He will. That's not really just trusting Him. I know He has a plan...as we all know. At this point though I still find myself wondering what's going on and why. I think to myself what I've done...if I've been like Israel in the book of Judges, doing wicked things just to cry out to God again to save me.

Do I really put myself fully into His hands for everything? I know I do when it comes to the curriculum that I want to put together. I know I do when it comes to other things...but when it comes to finances and the situation I'm in...I don't know if I do.

God, help me to rest in you and treasure everything you give me the way Mary did. She didn't really question, she just took everything and lived in it. I pray that I can just live. I can be in the moments and just live life the way you're giving it to me. Not worrying over why you're not or thinking how unfair it is. Father, I want to cherish the moments you're giving to me. The hard ones and the ones filled with laughter.

Now...on to some other stuff?

M

Monday, December 20, 2010

Daily Dose

Well...Saturday went by kind of uneventfully I guess. I got my reading done and what not. Yesterday...I woke up with horrible nausea and was so dizzy that the world looked like it was leaning left. Still have a bit of weirdness when I stand up...but it's pretty much gone. Was pretty able to get reading done as well. So...today is another devo!! Yay!

Title: When you don't know what to do
Key Verse: "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." 2 Chron 20:12b

The blog talks about all the worries and issues that face us. How we dwell on them and really allow them to affect our lives. I know I'm super guilty of this (as the disagreement with B this morning shows). I do not have a normal 9 to 5 job and we have bills, B works, but not as much as he'd like. It's part time and minimum wage. We are thankful for the income we do have. We live with my Dad, Ama and little brother. It can get a bit tense as it's really two sets of households with all that that means, trying to exist as one. We are thankful for what we have.

When it comes to getting everything done that we need to get done though, some things fall by the wayside. I stress and sometimes that comes out in a very harsh way. Am I being stubborn and just worrying instead of trusting God? I'm so guilty of giving things to God and then taking them back. How is it, that I can trust my husband to God but take back all the issues that crowd in around us? How can I experience true joy if I am holding myself down?

The application steps: 
Write out and post today's key verse in various places around your house, car, and workplace. Commit it to memory.


Imagine that each one of your concerns is a single rock. For example, I imagined my worry about the quality of mom's nursing care was a rock. Next, imagine placing that rock in Jesus' open hands. Feel the weight of that specific burden lifted from your hand to Jesus' strong and compassionate hands. Feel the relief and whisper this prayer for each concern: Lord, thank You that I can trust You to carry this burden for me.

Share your burden with a friend. Confide in her and ask her to pray for you.

Read all of 2 Chronicles 20 for more help when you don't know what to do.

Reflections:
Am I trying to solve the problem myself or am I asking God for wisdom, help, and direction?
Well, I guess we know the answer to this one huh? LOL So, I need to endevour to be better at this. I think I've gotten better as time has gone on...but I'm not nearly where I need to be.


Are my eyes focused on the problem or on God?
Gotten better at focusing on God...just need to do it more ;)

Do I truly believe that God can take care of my situation?
Yes! Oh goodness yes!

God, help me to rely less on me and more on you. I've learned that everything is yours and you do what you want with it. Obviously, there's a plan here that I just can't see and need to let go of what I think needs to happen and just trust that you'll make it happen.

M

Friday, December 17, 2010

Daily Dose

I got rocked today. Go check out the devotional at Proverbs31.org. I am convicted and humbled. You should have heard the rant I had at B.

God is infinite and so good. His word is strong...even when we get in the way and try to make it up.

I just feel like we over complicate. We try to dress up the message we have inside us. We have to look a certain way and offer a certain thing...but aren't we really just offering Christ? We're offering a relationship with us that is so filled with Christ that the people we come in contact with can't help but feel Him.

Out reach is one thing, but straight up I think we're doing our friends, family and kids a disservice when we worry more about if we have enough 'tech' in our lessons. You know what convicts me the most? That people in 3rd world countries are changing more people's lives and leading more people to Christ than we are here...and all they have sometimes are tin roofs and a Bible...a voice and body filled with the Holy Spirit and a willingness to surrender themselves and let God do His thing.

I'm between tears and a rage! What my heart's desire is, is to create a curriculum that teaches and point the kids to Christ week after week. Earth shattering ideas that are simple just like those in the Bible. Now, some of you may give me a hard time saying that the deep theological things in the Bible are not simple...and to you I say I both agree and disagree. Was it not Jesus that said “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14, if you were wondering)

This has to mean that we have to make ourselves like children and that the ideas in the Bible can not be as hard as we think they are. Yes, they'll take some time to work up to...and hard work is something we're promised in the Bible actually...but it's God's words, spoken and alive that will change people and get into their souls! No amount of lights or programs or events. Those get the people there, they get the people in the seat...and then, if you're not speaking the Word plainly, if you're not making it a direct line to Christ each time...you're doing it all for the wrong reason.

We don't change people with lights and program...if God needed that then the tin roofs and wooden benches would do nothing in the lands where thousands of people are getting baptized in the water and Word.

Aaaaaaah...I'm so...taken by this now! God had shaken me and hit me harder than I think He's ever done before. He's rocking my world right now...b/c even though these are things I have always thought, He's bringing me to my knees to share it...to make it happen and to rage until He's heard.

When God gets a hold of you...watch out.

I've written the blog...what now God? How do I do it?

M

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Daily Dose

Obviously, it's been a lazy morning for us. ;) Days that B doesn't work end up being that way. It's nice to cuddle and love on my husband a bit. Silly slow mornings are nice :)

Today's devotional: A Call to Action
Romans 14:20a

This devotion is...hard hitting for me. I see myself in the words. It centers around the struggle most women have with their weight and even more women have with food. How we sometimes seek comfort and peace in that chocolate bar or in the extra serving of Mac and Cheese (can we tell where my issues are? )

I remember nearly a year ago now, weighing much more than I do now...realizing that I had a food problem. Realizing that no matter what, I wasn't using the will power and peace of Christ like I should be. It was hard to come to terms with all that. I still have issues with food. I still just want to eat cookies and chocolate...and it's not that I can't, it's just that I need to keep it in check and really ask myself if I'm eating them for the right reasons.

I still catch myself sometimes and after I feel like, "why did I DO that!?!?"

The application step for today is to keep a notebook handy and when you find yourself craving food, write down why and then look to fix those issues.

Reflections:
Have I learned to let God satisfy my deepest needs?
What is one healthy choice I can make today?

I'm working on it. I am more content...learning to read the word and let it soak into me. Looking to just be in Him and let the rest just happen, not matter what that means. I've also found an appreciation for fasting that I never thought I'd have. God has given me such a peace lately. I think the daily devotion and the daily reading has helped tremendously. Putting myself in the word and letting myself feel God surround me.

I think I will have the fruit and yogurt instead of pancakes or a one eyed texan. Yup. Making the choice to eat the right foods and less craving of things I don't need. More reading in the word.

It's been an extended entry...but it's done. ;)

M

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Daily Dose

Good morning!

So, today I'm a bit tired after a night of not feeling well. B is a champ. Though he doesn't work today so I'm thankful that my getting up so often didn't keep him from sleep that he needed. He's a trooper...he had a want to be intimate and I had a want to puke. It was not a good combination...but he cuddled me and kept me warm. :)

Now, the devotion for the day? Ok!

Devotion Scripture: 1 Peter 2:9 Title: You're the one that I want!

Being Christmas time, this particular devotion centers around the first tree this writer picked out with her husband. With a baby on the way and in college, they didn't have much to be able to spend. The tree lot down the street marked all the trees down and they were able to afford it. She agonized over which tree was just right. The sun went down and the lot started to close, there was not enough light to see the trees. She felt hopeless in the darkness.

Her husband pulled the car around and shined it into the trees...there in front of her was the tree she wanted. It wasn't perfect in every way shape and form...but it was perfect for her. She draws a parallel between her and her tree and Jesus and us. He shined a light into all our darkness and called us all out. He wanted us!

I feel so not perfect most of the time. I can tell you what I'm not doing right and how I should change. I'm my own worst critic...and yet, the Savior of the World wants me. Little, not doing anything with her life, all lower case...me.

I've been thinking a lot about why I don't have a lot of very deep friendships and I think it's b/c I'm not good at making friends as an adult. When I was a kid, I made friends like it was nothing, even into being a teen. I still talk to people. In fact most people would tell you I'm very out going and a 'people person'. So, what's changed. My dearest friend Norma and I met in geography class at NHS. Oh man, that seems like so long ago. I don't even know how we became good friends b/c I don't remember it happening. I can't remember what I did or how I acted to have been blessed to have Norma as one of my very best friends to this day. There have been quite a few rough patches and no one is perfect. I don't text or call as much as I should, but she doesn't hold it against me. Did I do the same thing in high school? LOL I don't remember. My point being, that I'm not able to know how I did it or how to replicate it for adulthood. I feel myself wanting and needing for that deep friendship from other women. I am very blessed by the women's group that I've only gone to twice. I just don't know how to reach out...and that seems SO silly. Me? Not able to talk to people? Pshaw! But, I can't. (side note: those people that have known me forever, I do talk to you guys...about everything...which is kinda scary to realize)

Even with this huge flaw, Jesus wants me. He wants me.

The application step for this particular devo is to paraphrase 1 Peter 2:9 so that it is more personal. She shared her paraphrase...but she kept one part that really strikes a chord in me.

"...that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." (NIV)

We are chosen and made holy. We belong to God. And because of this, we 'may' declare the praises of God. I don't know why this hit me so hard. It's like saying, "All joking aside guys, you're the ones I want to praise me to be holy and to be MINE."

Wow. Impact noted.

Reflection: Have you ever felt rejected or forgotten? Tell God today about the gaps in your heart. Ask Him to heal the broken places that leave ou feeling unwanted. As Him and show you how He sees you - holy and dearly loved - chose and belonging to Him.

I do believe that has been accomplished. God is so good. He knew before I knew what I was going to ask...and He showed me :)

Power Verses:
Isaiah 43:1b
Isaiah 43:4

They both make me smile. :)

M

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Bill Cosby and other ponderings...

I'm having cookies for breakfast. Not because I'm a rebel (although I am...and I have a cause. What now James Dean?!), but because they have nutrition...and I'm an adult. LOL As a child we are told that we can NOT have cookies, cake or pie for breakfast. Hmm...really? We'll feed our kids sugary cereal, pancakes drenched in syrup and cinnamon buns...but not cookies? What? Ok, so these aren't regular cookies. They're Danish Butter Cookies. The kind you find in the big 5 lb tin (not an exaggeration, I'm serious, it weigh 5 lbs!).

This is how I happened to have cookies for breakfast:

I went into the kitchen with a growling in my tummy (which is really just air and gas bubbles, but that's a whole different blog) looking for something yummy to eat. Staring at me was the shiny red tin tub the cookies reside in. I looked squinty eyed at the treats, thinking to myself, "THAT is not on the eating plan and if we're going to keep dropping pounds and keep them off, then we need to stay on the plan missy!" FAIL.

Me: "I kind of really want to have some of those cookies for breakfast..."
Dad: "Oh, but they're being blocked!" as he takes off the lid.
Me: "Yeah, but I shouldn't have them..."
Dad: "These want to be breakfast." Handing me a little fluted paper cup with three sugared cookies to me. "Oh and these" another set of cookies, though this time without sugar, "...but they need this." He went to the cupboard and got out the peanut butter.
Me: "Well yes, that's protein...and those are flour, and milk, and eggs...THAT'S NUTRITION!"

It was NOT chocolate cake. I did have about 3 oz of yogurt and some morning tea. Not to fear. The point I hope I'm making, is that, I think we've kind of got it a little wrong. Those little cookies, though cookies, are still probably better for me than Lucky Charms or Cookie Crisp. I added peanut butter and only had 6 small cookies. I added yogurt and would have had an apple too. Balance. Moderation. I think those are important to remember when feeding ourselves. Now I'll have to make a choice when I have kids...to let them have their cake (for breakfast) and eat it to?

M

Daily Dose

So, this morning...it is actually morning while I'm writing this blog! Score one point for the team!

My hair is super poofy this morning and I'm not exactly sure why. Eh, it happens. After getting B all set with lunch and breakfast. I sat down to read, realizing then that it was in fact, Tuesday and today I don't have reading to do. LOL

Did some pre-reading as the computer booted and started to hum to herself.

Devotional Passage: Revelation19:9 (also Luke 14:16-20)

The title of this devotional is Dressed for the Party. We get invited to so many parties this time of year and we always know when and where and what time to show up for the best parts. Well, it goes on to talk about how in the time of Jesus, that's not exactly how it went. In Luke, we see the story of the  man that planned a party, sent out invites (by his servants) and then prepared everything. He sent the servants back out to notify his guests and they started making excuses. So, the man then tells his servants to start inviting other people and ends up with the poor, crippled, blind and lame at his table.

The fun part about reading this story in this devotion is remembering studying this with the youth kids at LOCC. This was a talking point during some gathering and we took it to the kids. The point we made was that God invited people by sending Christ, and people are saying no, God moves on. Now, maybe we're the crippled or the blind..but we're still invited. Everyone is. The close similarities to the way we talked about it and the way it's talked about in the devotion are very interesting.


In the devotion, she mentions how sad she is for the people that missed out. And really, I have to say that I felt the same way. They're missing out on a GREAT invitation. Then I continue to read to verse 24. "I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet." (NIV) Wow! They really really really missed out.

Then I think to myself, "wait...I keep saying they...what that they is actually ME." Am I ready for the banquet? Have a I been preparing myself and making myself ready for the banquet or just sitting by? Have I really been active to "dress" for the biggest party I could have ever been invited to? Or do I get easily distracted? (this is a rhetorical question ;) Have we seen my last few posts...goodness)

The application steps are to take some time to close your eyes and quiet your mind to draw close to God. Praise Him and express your gratitude and love.

Reflections? (for those of you following along at home)
What excuses do I make for not being ready - for not meeting with God?
Am I too busy or distracted with the ordinary to see the sacred?

My answers? I make a lot of excuses...you've seen them here in just the short time I've been writing. I wake up and have too much going on and too much to do to make the time first thing in the morning that I should make. I let other people's priorities of the order of the day interfere with the way mine should be. I worry too much about if I am doing this or that right in other people's standards and do not worry enough about God's. My daily devotional that is supposed to be first thing in the morning often gets pushed back behind other things because of all this. I'm doing this blog before eating breakfast today because I've been so convicted about this very thing. I need to set my day straight. Other things can and will wait. I can and will be able to do the other things as soon as I'm done with this. If I haven't set my day straight to begin with, what am doing? I glance around and know that there are things that could have been done before I sat down here...and I also know that in putting those in line before doing this, I've setting a bad example in my life and allowing other things to come before my relationship with God. That is NEVER ok. Now...I have to get myself out of bed earlier and do this even before getting lunch and breakfast ready for B...because honestly, that's where it belongs.

And my answer to the second question? Yes, many times I am. But I'm a work in progress (shush, yes, I started a sentence with but). I know that I can do this and I know it takes a lot of will power and work on my part...but all that follows all the prayer as well.

Now...I think I'm ready to start my day. What do you think?

M

Monday, December 13, 2010

The blog name...

So, I'm thinking that some people in the future of reading this blog may ask what the heck I was smoking when I named my blog this.

It's very simple. I love to crochet. Many people that know me well, know this. I am also a very musically minded person. Harmony is a theme that's kind of...ideal. So, Harmony in the Stitches became an idea when I opened up my store on Etsy. The crochet stitches work well together, something in music done often.

So, Harmony in the Stitches...and as my dad pointed out, funny music ;)

Good...afternoon! And on with the races!

Hello there my dears!

Today B went in at 9am. It was a little bit of a lazy morning. I got him fed, packed a lunch and sent him on his way to work. So, before we got out of bed, he asked, "what's on your list of things to do today?"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! My husband...he's such a kidder. My reply?

Read my chapters for tomorrow
Do my devotional (yes in that order, we see how it goes otherwise)
Shower (where I do my BEST thinking)
Apply at AAA
Laundry
Set out the outline for lessons in the curriculum
Work up the youth program I'm working toward

I know I planned on eating. LOL I sit having started laundry, taken a shower, eaten (twice-ish) and done my reading. Gooooooo me! LOL

So, now it's time for the devotional right? Right! Jump to the next blog or stay here? Jump to the next blog or stay here?  

I'm comfy...so I'll just stay here ;)

Devotional today: Keeping It Simple, Isaiah 9:6

Oh goodness! What a great blog for me today. After just listing my things to do...I read about simplicity. This particular entry was about simplicity during Christmas time. To be completely honest, I've been stressed about getting everything done. Even with not working, I seem to find things to wear away the hours. I haven't finished all the Christmas presents that I wanted to make this year (and I started in August!), B and I have to figure out how to make all the bread he has on his list...and we still have to figure out the driving and what not for visiting family in LA over the break. Now, with all these things that are in my mental to do list and the ones hanging above these words...I'm struck by the fact that I've brought it on myself. I'm getting better at it, I will say that...but I'm just pushing too hard. I can and will get all the things done that I need to get done. I know this. The worry is unwarranted. I've spent more time listening to God, reading His word and applying it now, than I have in a long while...and though it doesn't add hours to my day, or weeks to my year...I find a way to get things done and have a better attitude for it.

I spent some truly wonderful time last night at the church Christmas party. Yes, a Christmas party, just like you would have with your family...with my church family. It was amazing. Jenn really has a gift and though there is the need to set up, shuffle and tear down after...it wasn't like the normal church get together. It was really a family setting. I haven't known them long...but there I was, like I had ALWAYS been part of the family. I should have stayed home was my first thought as Seth and I drove over to Clovis...but I didn't. I could have done the laundry, gotten farther on all the gifts that I'm doing...but I didn't. I went and spent time with a group of people that make it feel like home. Kids ran around the trees, dogs chased balls and sticks and all the adults were gathered in groups talking and laughing. When it came time to eat, we all piled up the plates and sat discussing this enchilada or that piece of fudge. Cakes, beans, brownies...it wasn't the over official feeling so many things can get. And I loved it.

I need to remember to keep it simple. I need to remember that my days are numbered and I need to use them for more than just my own ideas. Shouldn't I be working toward other ends?

And with those words, the washer stops :) Next load...with a little more perspective :)

M

Saturday, December 11, 2010

First thing in the...afternoon?

So, there is no devotional in my inbox this morning from Proverbs31...so what do I do? Well, why don't we discuss the chapters I'm reading? That would probably work.

Pull out the good book and flip with me to Joshua, chapter 15. Today will be Chapters 15 through 18. Sounds  a little long, but it goes by pretty quickly. I wrote 'Be Obedient' on the notebook that I keep my discussion notes in. Just trying to encourage myself I guess.  ;) I am also....a dirty rotten Bible writer. I write in and highlight my Bible. B found me a Bible a couple years ago that has scripture on one side and a notes section on the other because I take obsessive notes sometimes. I'm sorry if this offends you. It's easier to keep all the notes and what nots together...for me anyway that's how it works. I even have a copy of the discussion notes in my little notebook in my actual Bible...just to help me if I forget the notebook. Do what works for you though. If you think you need to do it a different way...BY ALL MEANS!

Here we go...

My first notes in looking at what I was reading is that it would all be about the allotment of lands. There are specific boarders set up and it goes into a couple stories specifically centering around women.

Joshua 15:16-19 Talks about Caleb's daughter, how she was a deciding factor in the way some of the land was divided by her father.

Joshua 17:3-6 Speaks of the daughters of Zelophehad. This family did not have any sons. That being the case, Moses still promised them an inheritance. There was no rule about having to marry or anything...they just received land among the 'brothers' of their tribe.

Again and again I come to noting that maybe, everything about gender was not as we think it was back then. People say that the Jews were very gender bias and that the whole book of the Bible is as well. I just simply don't agree. Reading the story of Moses in Exodus, you see women are the deciding factor in much of the way that his story goes. Moses is talked about in the end of Deuteronomy as a man that God knew face to face. No other prophet has EVER risen to the heights Moses did in the Lord.

It just strikes me as weird that there are SO many instances of strong women and the WHOLE section of Proverbs 31 that speaks of a woman that isn't the beaten down image we are told exists in the Bible. Even in seminary there is talk about how the Jews thought less of women...but...there's proof that, though there were differences in the sexes and that men were held to a different standard and 'head', women were honored and men knew the value of an intelligent, hard working and self assured woman. They understood what real submission was.

Ah...but I digress.

My other three notations out of this section have to do with more mentions of the Israelites not killing all the people that set out to destroy. God told them to destroy all the nations in the area that was to be theirs, so they wouldn't be tempted by their ways. (Joshua 15:63 - Jebusites, 16:10 - Canaanites, 17:13 -Canaanites again)

I do kind of want to put a map on the wall and line out where all the different areas were. It's a bit much to just read through it and not really have a good picture of where this is.

So, it is now 5pm and I am publishing this. Enjoy. I've eaten dinner and now...I'm off to put tape on pieces of paper for tomorrow. LOL Yay!

M

Friday, December 10, 2010

Here I am working again...

See? Can't you tell.

Working on the logistics portion of the hand out...not really liking what it's doing...but what are you going to do? I have the lesson for K-3 and Club 456 done :) Woohoo! God is good :)

Let us go over my check list:
Catch up on Tuesday Connection Group reading? Done! :)
Daily Devo? Done!
Logistics of handout for KQ/456? In Progress...

I just linked this here blog to my FB...it's a little frightening...but I think it'll be good for me :)

The story about yesterday is this:

Took B to work to see if I could find easy and inexpensive way to do the activity for KQ/456 - found ornament type stuffs for Dec 19th. Message to J to see if we would like to do it...wait. LOL He didn't see the message so I ended up hanging around Joann's. B also forgot his lunch so I ended up driving home, getting his lunch, driving back, driving home, eating my dinner (it was around 5pm), sit on here for a bit and then run back to pick him up.

At this point you're thinking, "Well, then she sat down and started reading." That may have happened if I were better at this game. At the moment, I am not win. Yes, I said I am NOT win. lol

I brought up Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution (if you have not seen this 6 episode series, GO TO YOUTUBE RIGHT NOW AND WATCH IT) It's amazing what a heart he has for healthy eating and kids. The things he went through to start this revolution. It's part of what has kept me eating right. I splurge sometimes, but in the end I eat a good portion of veg and what not that I might not continue to do did I not know how HORRIBLE it is for me. (Thank you to SparkPeople for the app for Blackberry and the website!)

So, I bring up this show and start to describe it to B. He gets interested and next thing I know, we're looking up the show and hooking up the lapity-topity box to the TV (because watching it on this screen is just not as epic) and watching all 6 episodes (until 12:30 mind you) and discussing the crazyness of school food.

It's an amazing little series of episodes and really does help you put into perspective what we put into our bodies.

Needless to say, I did not get much done by way of my reading. I remedied that this morning.

Today, we went to AAA to pay the membership up for a year and get the registration to the car! Yippee! We talked to Carlton, our agent, and he suggested that I look into work with AAA. Ok, I'll bite.

M: "But do they pay for my training classes and license?"
C: "Yes. And they give you a salary while you do that."
M: "Hmm...ok. What about leads? Do I work on my own?"
C: "You work out of the office and get leads from the phone and walk ins while learning how to cultivate your own leads from events.
M: "Oh...ok."
C: "Take my card, go to the website, look it over...and keep me in the loop."

Interesting no? So, what do we think? Yes? No?

WalMart Christmas party was tonight as well. Went with B, the little bro and Dad. It was DELICIOUS food. Oh man, it was filling but SO worth it. Tacos and burritos done right ;)

And...now to the most important part of the day! We found Meatloaf - Bat Out Of Hell II in the $5 bin! Yes, oh yes we did! I absolutely adore Meatloaf. I'm pretty sure he's my favorite EVER. Listening to the songs just brought back so many memories...and I knew them ALL. That's what happens when you wear out two tapes and get to the point where if you play the third one anymore you'll wear it out too. Meatloaf is the power ballad man. And if I didn't know better I'd say that half the songs are really good testimony to not look back. ;) But...that my just be me.

And here I am...typing away when there are pieces of sticky tape that will not be attaching themselves people! I am blessed ;) I have an amazing man (not quite snoring in the bed to my left), gently opening doors, a family that I wouldn't trade for anything, friends that forgive how horrible I am at keeping in contact and things that make my heart happy. How much more could a girl ask for really? ;)

Off I go, I need to do a few more things :)

M

Not exactly morning...or first thing...

Well, in case you're wondering, no, I didn't get my reading done yesterday...but that's a whole different post. Today I decided to do the reading first and knocked out yesterday and today. Joshua 7 -14. Amazing stuff really. When  you look at the time it takes to fight wars now and what little they had to fight with physically. Feats of faith.

So, here I am. You know that I haven't been here yet so you know that I have not yet done my devotional for the day. Though I'm tempted to count my connection group study as my devotion for the day, I'm not going to...I'm going to press on with my little times and bits of reflection with God...then get on with my day...at 4pm...goodness.

ANYWAY! The scripture for today is Luke 19:5...yup..Zacchaeus!

(If you're wondering where I get my devotions, I would recommend that you check out Proverbs31.org!)

Have you ever felt very very very convicted. For me, it's not so much not looking past my comfort, though I do that as well. I've caught myself in recent months and started to be better about now casting judgment and finding a way to talk to people 'not like me'...but in that I do not actually share myself (this may become a reoccurring theme, sorry). I'll start to make friends with people...I'll give them the parts of me that I want them to see. That's probably why I miss my dear friends that I've known for so many years. Katie, Norma and yes, my younger sister Samantha. I miss them b/c they know me and I don't have to explain any of the weird quirks, I don't have to hash out the stories...they already know them. I can't pull back into myself without being pushed and prodded until I give up what's bugging me.

I catch myself thinking, "Oh, if Sam were here, she'd TOTALLY get that!" So many inside jokes that...no one else gets and I find myself not wanting to explain. Though some of them ( "It's like lettuce outside!") are fun to talk about...it's still personal to me. I'm not good at just...becoming friends with people anymore. As the years have gone by, I've moved...A LOT...and had to remake friends...and haven't been nearly as close with them as I should have been because...I'm just going to move again right? I don't have those people that I confide in really anymore...I don't have that...out. I have B, and he is amazing. He's my best friend...he's also my husband and sometimes...you just need another woman to talk to.

So, now. In light of this devotion for today, I find that Jesus made friends with people that were not the 'norm'. They were hated people. Tax collectors, prostitutes...if you really think about it, He did everything the opposite of what people expected of Him. He didn't come to hang out with the 'godly' or socially 'cool' people...He came to make an impact on people's hearts, to change lives...and He did.

I love when God pokes me in the chest and says, "just listen to me ok?". The lesson He's given me this week is about sharing the 'Light of the World'. The memory verse is Matthew 5:14 and we'll read through Matthew 5:14-16...the kids will be guided in discussing the affect of light and when you share your light with others how much brighter it can be. And yet...what am I doing to share my light. Yes, I help teach and lead and mentor the kids...but what about adults. Shouldn't I show my 'Jesus light' to everyone...no matter where I am or what I'm doing? People need to see Jesus in us...we need to share our light and embrace those that aren't exactly what we think they ought to be or what we think we should be see hanging around.

Jesus, the Savior of all humanity...hung out with the lowest and encouraged us to be like children...I'm pretty sure if Jesus did it...I can do it too.

I'm nearly in tears over here at my disobedience...God is so forgiving and so good to me. Why He'd waste his time on me I'll never know. All I know is that He does, and it gives me more and more chances to learn and do.

M

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ways to keep my thinking right

Sitting down to my morning devotional today. I had tried just kind of doing my own thing but realized that I needed the direction to start off with. I do the daily devotional from Proverbs31.com check them out. It's about being a Biblical woman and the devotions are great.

I'm also keeping a written journal with the devotionals each day. Not all things will make it onto this all too open surface known as my blog. If you want to talk in depth, I'm more than willing, otherwise I'll be keeping some things to myself ;)

Today: I have realized more than ever that I neeeeeeeed to do my devotion before just about anything else. LOL

The scripture is Luke 6:38 - As I read through this particular devotion I think back to last Sunday, the lesson I put together was on giving and sharing. So many scriptures are noted today about what God gave us...and in doing my Tuesday night study reading I realize just how much I fail sometimes. Maybe not at giving, though the Lord knows sometimes I have a very closed fist...but in the act of just obedience. The Jews were given SO many very specific rules. As a loving parent would give in rules to a child, God gave them rules and then reminded them what the consequences were, and then reminded them what the rules were....and so on :) He then gave us one very big rule. Love Him. With everything you are. Look for Him FIRST. Goodness I'm so guilty of not doing that. I get caught up with the fact that I 'need' to do this or 'need' that. In reality, I don't need anything but to be still and look for Him and what He's whispering in my ear...what He's been saying this entire time. He's given me so much and all He wants in return is for me to wait and listen to Him and seek Him.

The action steps for today? Merely to sit down for a moment and have a heart-to-heart with God, connect with THE Gift Giver. And for me, this means to do it before I let the rest of the day get ahead of me.


Reflection Questions: What gifts has God given me this year? Thank Him! What gifts do I need or desire from the Gift Giver this year? Ask Him!

Well, having gone through Crown Financial (which I highly recommend to everyone), I know that God guarantees to meet our needs...and plainly those are things like shelter and food. I have those things, though I find myself wanting for something other than what He's given me. I can't say that I need for B and I to have our own place, though that's definitely something that we both want very much. We want to start our own household...have our own room and be able to put together our home with all our things (which are currently sitting in storage). So, do I just pray that whatever God's will is, that it be done and to the fullest it can be? I have to give Him my total obedience and seek Him and what He wants FIRST. What does that look like? I mean, that's kind of a loaded question. I thought I was, wasn't I? Though I do know I was holding things back...what blessings did I keep from myself?

As for the blessings from this year? They are many! I got to spend time with my niece and helping my sister early in the year. I got to spend more time with my Dad than I have since I was a little girl and that is a major blessing (even if sometimes it causes a little bit of tension), I found myself moved from my comfort zone into a totally different area and found myself working. I was given the great gift of marrying a wonderful and God fearing man. B is the most amazing in times when I know I don't deserve it. I found myself again looking for work and though I had not been specific, He gave me another one...and showed me why specifics are so important. I'm working with the kids' ministry at church, something I and DEEPLY passionate about...even if I'm a little old school about it. I've found that Christian Education is a passion that burns inside me. I'm finding ways to allow people into my life without feeling like I'll just fall again...which is big for me. I don't trust many people with everything. Like I said...I have MANY blessings...and the year is not over.

Things I feel I need or desire? Our own place (that accepts animals too), it doesn't have to be big, one bedroom one bath would work just fine. An income from a rewarding source. I have a few things that are playing out and we'll just pray and see...but really, those are what I need. I know a lot of my stress comes from those two things. B has a job and he's trying to carry the full financial load...and that's just not going to cut it. I think I also need to pray that B has his gifts revealed to him, that they would come out and that he would be put into a position to use them. Success in the things He has placed on my heart would probably be another. I have an ache to create. To make a curriculum that ties BabyQuest all the way up to the Youth. To get a business up and going to help others acquire and use these pieces as well. Also, to get the health and beauty line going and the handmade stuffs as well (yes, stuffs, it's a technical term....you wouldn't understand ;) ).

Do I have too many wants? Next month will be 6 months of marriage with my wonderful husband...I'll be hopefully up and running on all sorts of things.

And now, I need to go get ready...what was that about seeking God first and before anything else pushes in? Oh yes, I need to do my reading...3 chapters in Joshua...hmm...after the ribbon? Ack! lol

Well, pray for me guys. I'll pray for you too. That you would take a deep look at the blessings you've had this year and then at what your NEEDS are for next year. ;)

M

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

First post...

I need to find and add all the blogs I was following on the other account. This one will simply be easier to access now that I only use this email address.

I'm working on (see, me working...right now as I type ;) ) the curriculum for next week for KidsQuest. I'm actually starting to realize that I may be able to put together curriculum like I've been feeling called to do. We'll see. LOL This was a two day effort. If I pray and really submit to God I know he will help it go faster. I'm hoping to have the first quarter done and up for sale/use by the end of the year.

My other venture is Harmony In The Stitches on Etsy. My shop. Have a gander if you like. I don't have anything posted as of yet. I feel like these are where God is pulling me. I'm hoping to have some bath stuff and some more items than just blankets up within the next month or so.

I am out of work at this point. I'm putting in resumes and we'll see what happens with New York Life. If they were really serious or not. B is still at Joanns though I know he would like to either be full time there or somewhere else. We're praying about it. I'm hoping to keep this journal up more than I have the others I've started. I got a little better with the other one and maybe, just maybe this is where I'll share my devotions for the day. I think that's a fair thing to get me here more than once huh? LOL

So, I will get back to the design of the handouts for Sunday. If you find me offhand...feel free to follow...I may not be all that interesting, but you may get a few laughs out of me ;)

M