Not exactly morning...or first thing...

Well, in case you're wondering, no, I didn't get my reading done yesterday...but that's a whole different post. Today I decided to do the reading first and knocked out yesterday and today. Joshua 7 -14. Amazing stuff really. When  you look at the time it takes to fight wars now and what little they had to fight with physically. Feats of faith.

So, here I am. You know that I haven't been here yet so you know that I have not yet done my devotional for the day. Though I'm tempted to count my connection group study as my devotion for the day, I'm not going to...I'm going to press on with my little times and bits of reflection with God...then get on with my day...at 4pm...goodness.

ANYWAY! The scripture for today is Luke 19:5...yup..Zacchaeus!

(If you're wondering where I get my devotions, I would recommend that you check out Proverbs31.org!)

Have you ever felt very very very convicted. For me, it's not so much not looking past my comfort, though I do that as well. I've caught myself in recent months and started to be better about now casting judgment and finding a way to talk to people 'not like me'...but in that I do not actually share myself (this may become a reoccurring theme, sorry). I'll start to make friends with people...I'll give them the parts of me that I want them to see. That's probably why I miss my dear friends that I've known for so many years. Katie, Norma and yes, my younger sister Samantha. I miss them b/c they know me and I don't have to explain any of the weird quirks, I don't have to hash out the stories...they already know them. I can't pull back into myself without being pushed and prodded until I give up what's bugging me.

I catch myself thinking, "Oh, if Sam were here, she'd TOTALLY get that!" So many inside jokes that...no one else gets and I find myself not wanting to explain. Though some of them ( "It's like lettuce outside!") are fun to talk about...it's still personal to me. I'm not good at just...becoming friends with people anymore. As the years have gone by, I've moved...A LOT...and had to remake friends...and haven't been nearly as close with them as I should have been because...I'm just going to move again right? I don't have those people that I confide in really anymore...I don't have that...out. I have B, and he is amazing. He's my best friend...he's also my husband and sometimes...you just need another woman to talk to.

So, now. In light of this devotion for today, I find that Jesus made friends with people that were not the 'norm'. They were hated people. Tax collectors, prostitutes...if you really think about it, He did everything the opposite of what people expected of Him. He didn't come to hang out with the 'godly' or socially 'cool' people...He came to make an impact on people's hearts, to change lives...and He did.

I love when God pokes me in the chest and says, "just listen to me ok?". The lesson He's given me this week is about sharing the 'Light of the World'. The memory verse is Matthew 5:14 and we'll read through Matthew 5:14-16...the kids will be guided in discussing the affect of light and when you share your light with others how much brighter it can be. And yet...what am I doing to share my light. Yes, I help teach and lead and mentor the kids...but what about adults. Shouldn't I show my 'Jesus light' to everyone...no matter where I am or what I'm doing? People need to see Jesus in us...we need to share our light and embrace those that aren't exactly what we think they ought to be or what we think we should be see hanging around.

Jesus, the Savior of all humanity...hung out with the lowest and encouraged us to be like children...I'm pretty sure if Jesus did it...I can do it too.

I'm nearly in tears over here at my disobedience...God is so forgiving and so good to me. Why He'd waste his time on me I'll never know. All I know is that He does, and it gives me more and more chances to learn and do.

M