Ah...the ever inconsistant!

Good morning fair readers!

I'm trying to read every day and I have to be honest, my daily dose is really one of the only things I get to every day. I may not get it here, but I do get to reading it :)

Today was about marriage and not dwelling on the past. I'm not sure how many people that really applies to...but we'll see where God takes me.

Today's Title: What's the big deal about dwelling on the past?
Today's Scripture: Isaiah 43:18, 19a


In the devotion Melanie talks about hearing a radio program where a young bride talks about how much she can't understand what's happened in her marriage. She was disappointed and contemplating if she married the right guy, thinking about the guy that got away and ultimately sabotaging her marriage. 

I feel kind of like this goes hand in hand with one of the devos last week. Down farther in the devo she talks about how the young woman got what we all know was coming by calling in...people that agreed with her that her husband was not doing as he should be. That he was 'clueless' and that she was right to second guess her vows. What?!

What kind of message are we sending our kids? That when something doesn't go our way we just quit? That if we don't like the results we don't work harder or look for things that may need a change, we just blame others and cut and run. Yeah...no thank you!

The woman was more focused on what wasn't happening, how much better the other man was while dating...not looking at how to strengthen her marriage. I do agree that there are times when marriages just do not work. One person in the marriage works on it and the other does not...but I hardly believe that that is the norm. I think that we are training ourselves to give up far too easily. This young woman had only been married TWO YEARS!

We can not dwell on the things in the past because that means we are allowing our past to dictate our future. We need to learn from the past, not relive it. We need to focus on what's happening right now and what the future holds. Looking backwards and regretting one choice over another changes NOTHING. It perpetuates some of the worst feelings of inadequacy and not being fulfilled. It makes you feel worse. Your past helped shape your character in one way or another...that is what you should take from it...not a longing for things gone by.

That's the problem I see most. People just do not move on! Learn and live and let God do His thing!

(stepping off the soap box)

This is not something easy. It affects more than just married people. It's hard and it takes a divine hand to make it work and to help shape you in grand ways instead of destructive.

So...how will you be shaped? Where will you focus your energies? Ahead of you, or behind you?

Application Steps:
● Speak words of blessing to your husband such as, “Our marriage keeps getting better. Thank you for being an awesome husband.” ●Tell your husband something specific that makes you thankful for him. For example, “Thank you for playing with the kids last night while I took a walk. That was a great break.”
●Let your husband overhear you praising him to your kids or to friends.
●Send him an email telling him you can’t wait to have some private time with him later that night.
●In your prayers tell God how thankful you are for your marriage.

You can change these to fit your situation. I think these are all good ways to remind yourself of the blessing of marriage if you are married though :)

Reflection:
Have I gotten stuck in a damaging pattern of seeing what my marriage lacks instead of seeing the blessings?


When I’m with my friends, do we criticize and complain about our husbands and marriage? Or do we help each other look for and see the “good things” we have?

Do I need to get counseling to help me move beyond unresolved past hurts?

Hugs

M